{funny friday}

10 Clues That You've Gone Overboard On Home Improvement
1. You've built a drive-thru car wash in the second slot of your 2-car garage.

2. You'll use any excuse to add a new room onto the house, including needing more space for the newest addition to the family -- your daughter's goldfish Buffy.

3. Even Martha Stewart has deemed your multi-level, hydraulically-operated kitchen is "a bit overdone."

4. You've converted the standard stall shower into a "bathing waterfall," complete with tropical plants.

5. Your rear-projection, surround-sound TV room can comfortably seat 43, and you're trying to make arrangements with Universal for first run films.

6. Your dog has a duplex dog house out back, even though he sleeps in bed with you every night.

7. The local building department says you can't add a fourth floor to a house that was originally zoned as a single level dwelling.

8. You bought and demolished your next door neighbors house to make room for an Olympic size swimming pool.

9. You've installed a small freight elevator going to your attic.

10. You've built an FAA-approved helipad on your roof.

{funny friday}

Some Psychology

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

{funny friday}

Parent's Dictionary of Meanings

DUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

OW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings

PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it, and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it and wiping it with saliva.

TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

VERBAL: able to whine in words

WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house

Money Isn't Everything

{funny friday}

{funny friday}

Some Marriage Math:

1. Smart man + smart woman = romance
2. Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy
3. Dumb man + smart woman = affair
4. Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage
5. Smart boss + smart employee = profit
6. Smart boss + dumb employee = production
7. Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
8. Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

{funny friday}

When a baby is born into a family it affects every one in that family. However, as you have baby 2 ... then baby 3, the way in which you deal with the child also changes considerably. Enjoy a laugh with the differences below.

Your Baby's Clothing:

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your pregnancy is confirmed.

2nd baby: You wear your ordinary clothes for as long as you are able.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your ordinary clothes.

Getting Ready for the Day of the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing as often as possible

2nd baby: You don't bother practicing your breathing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't help at all.

3rd baby: You accept an epidural injection as soon as it is offered.